My husband and I have been married for 9 years and have been satisfied with sex, but we are every three times. The last time I saw in the newspaper an expert from the British Society of Sexuality said the formula for the frequency of sex, and as soon as we calculated, we didn't meet the standard. Aren't we normal when we're only 33 years old? Can you tell me what the normal frequency of sex should be for a couple?
The reader's letter surprised us. The formula of sexual frequency she mentioned was formulated by American scholars based on the influence of age factors on sexual ability. It is calculated by multiplying 10 digits of one's own age by 9 and the mother by 10 digits, which is the number of days the sexual cycle lasts, and the individual is the frequency of sex. According to this formula, the couple's sex frequency should be 3×9=27, that is, they should have sex 7 times in 20 days.
Could it be that the media hype of the measure of "sex" happiness has become so compulsive that a happy couple would wonder if their own sex life is normal or happy? How many couples worry about their sex frequency but can't talk about it? There is no doubt that the vast majority of people who visit sexology specialist consultation rooms have similar problems.
What happened to others? How many times a week should it be done? Are we normal.
Normal, has become an instrument of tyranny in our time. Mainstream culture and expert voices control us, and the psychological burden of the public when there is a huge deviation in the personality and personal reality promoted in the media.
The frequency is always like that
Yes, when it comes to sex, the concept of frequency is becoming more and more acute. The urgent investigation of whether one's sex life is normal has actually happened recently. In the past, sexual messages have been taboo, and no one has compared the average frequency between couples. In addition, the frequency is also limited by pregnancy planning, etc. The family planning policy stripped us of the sex and fertility we enjoyed, and the Internet opened up our sexual topics, but the flood of information made our mood blurred.
Is sex as easy as copy-paste? Is it OK to copy from one bedroom to another? I'm sorry, but it's too complicated, too private, too personal and emotional, and destined not to be as militarized as the number of hand washings.
Sex, first and foremost the communication between two people, is full of surprise and can exceed expectations. Thus, sex is physiological, hormonal, occasionally pragmatic, but above all emotional, raised and enriched in conflict with the other. If we put the necessary decorations before sex, we no longer obey the call of desire, but take sex as an obligation, becoming our own command.
The uneasiness of sexual inadequacy is also due to the fear of not meeting normal standards. Some men need to prove their masculinity with performance. They find a way to listen to penis size, sexual frequency, duration... Partners find that they unconsciously want to have sex unconsciously, but instead want to prove that they reject this sexual intercourse that is only used as a tool
But some women are looking for the same evidence. Having sex makes you feel attractive and attractive.
Tom, 38, said: "My job is very stressful and my libido is often paralyzed. If you don't have sex often, I'm in better shape. However, if I haven't spoken to my wife ML for a long time, she will be upset. She would imagine that I didn't love her anymore, or even suspect that I had another woman... She needed sex to determine my feelings for her. So, two or three times a month, I have to force myself to eliminate her anxiety
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